On Being Allowing
The Teachers of The Universal Mind through Jo Amidon
Each individual has different ways of learning. There are different needs, types of expression, and learning experiences. What may work best for you, may not work for another. Something that gives you much joy, growth, spiritual happiness, or pleasure in life may hold no interest for another. It may be an area they are not to explore or work with at this time. Perhaps they simply do not enjoy that type of activity, or it does not resonate with them.
Judgment and expectation are usually created when there is an inner feeling of wanting others to be more like you. Why would this be? This could be to validate your feeling that you are doing the right thing, your beliefs, or to make you happier by having someone you care about be more involved with something you are doing. In releasing these judgments or expectations, you allow yourself to develop other areas of your relationship with that person. In allowing them to be and do what they need for themselves, you allow yourself freedom to do the same. Do you really want to limit yourself or anyone else in any area of growth?
Remember, there are many different types of learning experiences and growth. If someone else is doing something you disapprove of, instead of judging them, you could look within yourself. Look at your disapproval. What is it based on? Is it simply a personal decision about something that you have decided not to include in your life? If so, allow others the freedom to make decisions for themselves, just as you wish freedom to do.
Is it based on limitations or teachings that are negative in origin? Perhaps there is work being done by that person with releasing those same limitations. This may not be something you would choose for yourself, but that does not make it wrong. Are there situations where someone is doing something you consider ‘wrong’, ‘dangerous’ or ‘unhealthy’? Do you find yourself judging others by placing these labels on them?
Many are working with releasing old training and patterns. For some, this will involve creating situations to test their ability to do certain things without ‘falling’ into old patterns of judging these things as bad. This is a part of learning that the energy you put into something while doing it, creates the resulting experience in your reality. In the same manner, something that you do which others put negative energy into, through their unspoken or spoken thoughts or judgments will have an effect.
Do you feel that you need others to make similar choices to support yours? Know that it is always best to follow what resonates with you, make your choices based on your needs, and the types of growth and experience you wish to explore. Allow others freedom to do the same. There is no one right pathway. Individuality is very important and should always be honored.
When you recognize these areas within yourself, know that this results from inner insecurity and need to have others approve of you, agree with you, or be more like you. By focusing on these feelings, or giving ‘energy’ to them, you can create inner resistance to growth in the area in question. (This occurs when you ‘get into’ these feelings.) There may be a need for growth in an area which may attract others to act as a ‘mirror’ for you, to create an awareness of a need for change. When this occurs, there may be situations created to bring areas of yourself to your attention. Often, others are called upon, on a spirit level, to act as teachers for you.
Do you notice situations where there is something in you that someone may not seem allowing of? This is often their way of responding to their feeling of your judgment of something in them. When not dealt with, this can create a wide and seemingly never-ending circle of separation and judgments. Perhaps there is a need for greater confidence in knowing that what you are doing, being, or feeling is what is right for you. Perhaps there is a need for open, honest discussion in a non-judgmental manner.
In discussion of emotional issues, or differences, it is best to approach the subject from a point of self. Such as: “This is what I feel when you do ‘whatever’ and I’m trying to understand my reactions and your position on this better” would create a better opportunity for open discussion than “I really have a problem with you doing ‘whatever’”.
For greatest growth to occur in discussions of this nature, it’s important to open and share the inner self. At times, it may be easier to react in an ‘overly spiritual’ manner. This occurs when one may prefer to quote spiritual beliefs and practices rather than discuss personal feelings and growth processes. While both are important, in such an instance when one is opening themselves to you and sharing deep personal feelings, it is best to respond in like manner. This could be followed by a discussion of spiritual practices or beliefs which there would then be more openness to. This creates a lessened likelihood of the individual feeling that they are being ‘put down’ for being less spiritual or coming from a less spiritual perspective. If one is led to believe that another person feels them to be less worthy because of their growth processes, there is little chance of the willingness to open themselves occurring again.
A common issue with those on a spiritual path is the questioning when issues continually arise with another person. Questions such as: what is important enough to discuss, and what is ‘my own issue’ that I should just work with releasing and not share with the person involved? How can I talk to another about this without hurting their feelings, or offending them? I know this is my issue but it’s one I really respond to whenever it comes up?
It is important to have a support network to aid one in growth in these areas. Much depends upon the willingness of the other individual, and their capability of open discussion without emotional attachment. Much can be achieved through a willingness to approach a discussion with openness: this is a problem I’m having; I’d like to have better understanding of you; I’d like to learn more about your feelings or thoughts on this matter; or something of that nature may result in a positive discussion with anyone.
When the individuals involved are of a shared commitment to growth and development the potential is much greater. If there is shared desire to explore self, release past and limitations, and desire to aid one another a unique type of support network can result. Often, seeing a situation through another person’s perspective can be very enlightening. Others may see aspects to your reactions that you do not, or may make connections between patterns you have that you do not. By allowing, both of yourself and others, you open many doors to growth.
We Are The Teachers of The Universal Mind
through Jo Amidon 11/14/98